Richard Craver

Thoughts, Musings And The Occasional Rant

The Idiot Whisperer – Part 3

Written By: richardwcraver - Sep• 30•16

I’m impatient, it’s no secret. Most of my life is being on a mission of some sort and I’m continually frustrated by hindrances to my progress. I attribute much of this to the way I work, I’m strictly commission paid. If I don’t produce I don’t get paid. I quickly became my own efficiency authority, and have little tolerance for idiocity. Driving is one of those areas however where I have learned to mostly temper my lust for speed and operate in ‘why can’t we get along?’ mode, it’s just the most efficient way to get things done.


I drive about 40-45 minutes each way to work, it’s good reflective time, usually in the morning I listen to Bible audio on my phone through Bluetooth and mentally stimulating podcasts in the evenings. I am a self proclaimed K.O.O.K., a Keeper Of Odd Knowledge, and I try to fill my ‘Know Hole’ with something new and useful.  On my drive I have found that once I pass the last major interchange leaving one town and before the next major interchange almost 20 miles later, about 10 mph over posted speed is where traffic just seems to flow without being noticeably faster than the others and not having to brake for the occasional driver applying makeup or texting; just a subtle roll onto and roll off of the throttle and the drive is uneventful. It seems that most of the regulars along the route have mostly figured it out as well, except the woman in the Civic.

I was about a mile into the throttle up zone, cruising along at a comfortable 75 mph with good following distance when she appeared in the mirrors. Even in the rear view with the light of morning dusk I could see the angst on her face. This woman is going to worry me to death.

So what to do? Nothing, just maintain a comfortable speed and following distance. It’s not speed that is deadly, it’s the difference in speed. If she wants to put herself in harms way she is welcome to it. I had decent reaction distance if someone changed lanes, and there were only interchanges with exits and merges before the next town.

Sister Civic was going to have none of it. I had just gently passed a slower vehicle on my right, leaving a space just big enough for her to zig, accelerate hard, zag and apply brakes as she filled my previously sufficient following distance. Mumbling and high beam flashing ensued.

Shake My Head

She rode the bumper of the vehicle ahead as I rolled out of the throttle to re-establish my following distance. Her fiest had not gone unnoticed, soon a young guy in a Maxima was on my bumper bobbing left to right like he was searching for a worm-hole in the space and time continuum to pass me and the line of other cars ahead, also traveling at 75 mph. “Where in the world does he think he is gonna go?”, I ask myself. The only thing ahead is the Civic’s bumper. I’m watching my mirror thinking, “If you want around so bad, take the grass big boy!”. This little dance continued for the next 15 miles until we came into the next town and I started making my way over to the right lanes to my exit.

As I take my exit I look to the left, about one car length ahead and one car length behind me and just shook my head. Hope you have a good day.

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