What Is Love?
What is love? That is a question that has been asked through countless ages. And through those ages various groups have struggled to try to define it as it fits into their national, philosophical or world view.
To couples that have just laid eyes on each other it has a different meaning than for a couple married for 50 years.
For a young child that is wholly dependent on their parents for life sustenance it is different than for a teenager or an adult child.
In fact in languages such as Greek and Latin there are many different words that are translated to our English word, love.
One such love is agape, it is charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional. It is parental love, seen as creating goodness in the world; it is the way God is seen to love humanity, and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for one another. In the Greek it is seen as ‘perfect’ love.
Phileo, a type of Philia is where we get your word for brotherly love. Are you familiar with the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia? Philia is the Greek root of this type of love.
Storge is the Greek word for family love. The love between parents and children and the love between siblings.
Xenia is the love of community. The love that shows kindness to strangers and guests. It was an important part of Greek culture.
Eros is the Greek word for physical, intimate, sexual attraction type love. It is the lusty type of love that fades away as a relationship matures.
But defining love is not nearly as simple as plugging in one of the five Greek roots shown above. Sometimes things blur the lines. A committed married couple can simultaneously share agape and eros love. They may selflessly and unconditionally love each other and at the same time enjoy together the fiery delicacies of eros love.
Children within a family may experience Phileo, brotherly love and Storge, family love in the same context. It’s ironic that those that ‘fight like brothers and sisters’ may at the same time have a strong sense of Storge love.
Love can be immature like teenage ‘lovers’ on a date, or mature like a married couple that have weathered the storms of 50 years and still have a twinkle in their eye for their beloved. It can be bold like a patriot’s love for his country, or dark and sinister like an anarchist.
But what I have come to know and believe is that, regardless of the Greek or Latin root word, Love Is A Choice. A Choice? Like what to have for breakfast? Well … yes and no. Choosing to love someone or something is a decision that we make whether consciously or not.
Some have argued that love is something you have, like a mother’s love for a child. Hence the expression of someone poor in appearance, ‘has a face only a mother could love’. But on the other hand there have been countless mothers that have killed their children both before and after being born. So it doesn’t hold up that it is something we are born with and that mothers have a corner on the market.
Eros love may be what causes new couples to give the other that second look. Eros is hot, steamy and passionate love. Eros may launch the ship of love, but cannot survive the turbulent waters of live. That passion fades and often one or both change their minds and ‘chose’ someone else that will make them ‘feel alive’ again.
But what makes the clincher for me that “Love Is A Choice” is the greatest example of love, Jesus Christ. Jesus came to this world, Son of God, in fleshly form. He was just as perfectly God as He was perfectly man. He chose to come to a sinful world, chose to live a perfect life, chose to die as an atoning sacrifice, to die for sinful humanity one time for all time.
He came to model that love when we were unlovable. Sinful mankind cannot come into the presence of a sinless God. That’s the reason the Israelites had to make sacrifices in the temple to put away their sins. But they had to do it over and over again. Christ came once to make a perfect sacrifice. He illustrated His love for us, He ‘Chose’ to die for us.
Love is a choice. Hate is a choice. Apathy is a choice. You can chose to love God and His son. You can chose to hate Him or simply turn away. I don’t recommend either of the latter.
